Wednesday, October 29, 2008

Welcome to Holland....

I ran across this the other day and it spoke to me. Chances are that it may mean nothing to you and that is okay. I blog for me-really. It's a place to vent and cry and wonder and record memories and feelings. I hope that if it does speak to you that you realize that you are not alone on your trip and maybe we can compare wooden shoes sometime!!  I tend to think though, that everyone has their Holland. Yours doesn't look like mine and mine doesn't look like any of the families that I know. But we are all here together, so we might as well make it the best trip through Holland that we can!! I hope you enjoy! --Dallas

I am often asked to describe the experience of raising a child with a disability - to try to help people who have not shared that unique experience to understand it, to imagine how it would feel. It's like this......

When you're going to have a baby, it's like planning a fabulous vacation trip - to Italy. You buy a bunch of guide books and make your wonderful plans. The Coliseum. The Michelangelo David. The gondolas in Venice. You may learn some handy phrases in Italian. It's all very exciting.
After months of eager anticipation, the day finally arrives. You pack your bags and off you go. Several hours later, the plane lands. The stewardess comes in and says, "Welcome to Holland."
"Holland?!?" you say. "What do you mean Holland?? I signed up for Italy! I'm supposed to be in Italy. All my life I've dreamed of going to Italy."
But there's been a change in the flight plan. They've landed in Holland and there you must stay.
The important thing is that they haven't taken you to a horrible, disgusting, filthy place, full of pestilence, famine and disease. It's just a different place.
So you must go out and buy new guide books. And you must learn a whole new language. And you will meet a whole new group of people you would never have met.
It's just a different place. It's slower-paced than Italy, less flashy than Italy. But after you've been there for a while and you catch your breath, you look around.... and you begin to notice that Holland has windmills....and Holland has tulips. Holland even has Rembrandts.
But everyone you know is busy coming and going from Italy... and they're all bragging about what a wonderful time they had there. And for the rest of your life, you will say "Yes, that's where I was supposed to go. That's what I had planned."
And the pain of that will never, ever, ever, ever go away... because the loss of that dream is a very very significant loss.
But... if you spend your life mourning the fact that you didn't get to Italy, you may never be free to enjoy the very special, the very lovely things ... about Holland.

4 comments:

The Rickard 5 said...

I love that.

Dallas said...

I have read this several times before and it always bring a tear to my eye. We all have our "Holland" experiences, don't we!

Anonymous said...

This morning I clicked on your blog for the first time. And, here I sit listening to your wonderful music, while reading about your Cooper, and I am crying like a crazy woman! Thank you for giving me this morning! I needed some cleansing and I believe I have received it. God's blessings to you and your precious family!

I am Dallas Henderson's mom.

Anonymous said...

That is a wonderful analogy.

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