He Was My Heart

It has been almost 4 months since my Papa earned his eternal reward.

He was the most amazing human I have ever had the privilege to know.

He was my heart.

He and my Daddy walked me down the aisle when I got married.

He is buried in Texas...and I am not in Texas.
He is next to my Granny.
There are bluebonnets that were scattered across their graves.

There is no one left to call me "Sis".
There is no one to sit on my porch and tell me stories of times long ago.

There was an Honor Guard to give tribute to him.
There was a Bugler who played Taps.
There were younger brothers who stood and saluted their big brother.
There was a son who did his own father's funeral and I'm not sure anyone else could have done a better job.

There is a flag. A stiff cotton flag that said a solemn Thank You for serving our country.
There are 3 bullet casings.  Honor. Integrity. Commitment.
There is a "Deep in the Heart of Texas" pendant that I wear.
There is a wrist tattoo. It's his signature.
There is a jar of Texas dirt from the cemetery in my kitchen window.

My heart is deep in Texas.
It's in an old family cemetery.
It always was his and it always will be.

He was good people.

Keeping it Real

I'm a terrible house keeper.
I am bad keeping up with the laundry 6 people create.
I don't dust near as much as I should.
I have lots of half finished books.
I drink too much Dr. Pepper.
I forget about left overs in the fridge until they could probably crawl out on their own.
My porch is a wreck.
I am stubborn.
My floors need to be swept.
My table is sticky and has crumbs.
I hold grudges.
I get my feeling hurt easily.
I eat frosting out of the container.
I hide chocolate in the freezer for my own selfish reasons.
I forget to send Thank You notes.
I have an irrational fear of going to the post office.
I take on more than I can handle.
I don't say no.
I yell more than I should.
I cuss...sometimes like a drunken sailor.
I listen to boy bands.
I cry when I get mad.
My oven needs to be  cleaned.
I dance and sing while in the truck.
The upstairs looks like a Lego store, Barnes & Noble and Staples puked all over the place.

There you have it.

Keepin' it real.
And chances are....you can relate to a few of those too.

The entry in which I admit that I couldn't convince the computer to let me log in...

From the looks of things, it appears it has been over a year since I even acknowledged  the existence of this little blog thing. And chances are you really didn't miss me. And that's ok. I don't blame you or wish mean things to happen to baby kittens or anything like that. Yes. I do openly admit that I have a little difficulty trying to log in.

It's just that life with 4 boys doesn't seem to be slowing down. At all. Not sure why I thought it would. Could be that I am not the sharpest crayon in the box. 

But here is the last year in a glance:

January- The baby turned 7 and I turned 40.

February-Something cool happened. Probably

March- I'm not sure we even participated in March 2013.

April- The oldest turned 13 and the little middle boy turned 9.

May- Isn't that when Memorial day is? So...that means the pool opened. 

June- Stuff….happened. It's Arkansas, so it was probably hot. We did eat snow cones!

July- The oldest went to the 2014 National Scout Jamboree in West Virginia. The rest of us went on a trip out there to see him. We learned West Virginia is HOT in July.

August- School started.

October- The big middle turned 11. And Scout turned 40.

November- We ate turkey and pie. Lots of pie. Ok really, I am the one who ate lots of pie.

December- It snowed like a foot here and then we ate turkey and more pie. Yes, it was just me and the pies again. Don't judge.

That's my recap. Hope you are in awe of what a really cool family we are and how I take care to document events in our lives for the boys to look back on with deep fondness when they are older.

A Little Glimpse....otherwise entitled, I Am Not An Overachiever

I have 3 baskets of clean laundry and a BIG pile upstairs as well.

The schoolroom looks like Staples and Toys R Us blew up in a small confined area.

I have no Christmas lights up outside. No cute porch display. The wreath I made 2 months ago, is on the ground near my front door, along with a very festive Christmas pumpkin.

What? You haven't heard about the Christmas pumpkin? That's a shame you are so out of the loop(or I still have a pumpkin leftover from almost 2 moths ago) Whatever.

There will be no Christmas cards. Haven't bought them. Haven't taken some super cute picture of my growing precious boys to commemorate this time in their lives. Nope...and I don't plan on getting it done either. 

So...... MERRY CHRISTMAS from Us!

My super cool "don't you wish you were crafty like me" Advent calendar is a big piece of brown butcher paper taped to the wall-with index cards with gift bows stuck on them. Eat your heart out Pinterest!

I have a large stack of papers on my kitchen floor that need to go out to the burn pile.

I am not done or even close to being done with my shopping. I don't like shopping. I don't enjoy the crowds, the chaos, the big displays, the less than festive attitudes. So I shop online as much as I can to avoid all that stuff.

My Elf on the Shelf is pretty lame. I actually lost him 2 nights ago and couldn't remember where he was. So that was fun!

My sink is still the holding place for last night's dishes.

My floors look like I live on top of a dusty hill with 17 acres and 4 boys. Wait...nevermind.

I took the wrong bag to church on Sunday. So I had nothing for the boys to do. And if you attend a Presbyterian church and know how long those services are...you totally get why that's a big deal. I was digging thru my less than clean truck to find anything that could help then sit quietly. They ended up with pipe cleaners, a notebook and a thing-a-ma-jigger.

Hopefully you now feel better about yourself and/or the state of your house.

I'm going to go finish my left over Chick-fil-a sweet tea from last night.

What a week...or 2

Wow. 

That was incredible! I hardly know where to begin to tell about our vacation.

We had so much fun.

 Saw so many incredible places and met lots of great people. 

We have laughed and laughed and made many memories.

I will be working on some blog posts for the next 2 weeks that will bring you up to speed. 

However, I have spent 14 nights in a tent and am ready to go crawl into my cozy bed.

More to come!

I Got Myself a Duck Dynasty Wanna Be

My Big Middle has a new calling in  life.

Have you see the show Duck Dynasty on A&E? 

(If you have no idea who or what I am talking about...PLEASE google these guys. I promise you, you will not be disappointed, or it will just prove how redneck I really am.)

The Roberston's are a family in the Monroe, Louisiana area. 

They hunt and fish and work together making duck calls. I have friends who know them and say they are some of the best people around.

Scar is sure that he was kidnapped from their family and brought to live at our house. 

(UM....no, I was there and I remember that whole birth story, thank you very much.)

He wants to know if we can vacation with them. 

He'd prefer to just move to Louisiana, but I draw the line there...I don't like purple  and gold. :O)

He has worn cammo for the last 3 days or so. He just asked if I would buy him a fake beard and mustache.  

Obsess much?

Scar has decided that he wants to be Jase's new best friend. He's also fond of Si. He would fit in beautifully with those 2.

So, Jase and Si, my 9 year old wants to be you when he grows up. 

Thank you for being who you are to him! I am hoping he does just that!

Please, Don't Help Me....

Wanna know a little secret?

I don't accept blessings well, and it causes me problems.

I'm sure it is a pride issue. I don't like to ask for or accept help. I feel like I chose to homeschool the boys. I chose to be a stay at home mom. I chose this path, so I should just put on my big girl panties and get on with it. Oh, I'm more than happy to help you and do whatever I can to help you out...but please, please, please don't turn the tables on me.

If I ask for help...I am in serious need. 

I saw a brief interaction between my boys this weekend that hit me in the gut and took my breath away. One child was sitting at the table. The other one brought him something and the receiving child freaked out, jumped all over him about how he can do it and didn't need or want his help. The child trying to help was crushed. It was apparent by the look on his little 8 year old face.

Immediately,  I recognized myself in that interaction.
That was me crushing the spirit of another who was trying to bless me.
That was me taking away the joy of another  in serving.
That was me whose pride was all ugly and obvious.

Skipper and I had a brief conversation about letting the 8 year old bless him. Let him serve you. Let him model after Christ. Let him love you. Accept his blessing and his joy.


So, there it is. I am teaching my boys to hinder those who want to bless us. I am teaching my boys to do it all on their own. I am teaching my boys that their pride is more important than the blessing of others.

Ugly, huh? Not at all the message I want my boys to be left with. So as a family, we are working on that. We are working on purposefully finding ways to bless those that live in our house. We are working on a list of random acts of kindness that we can do to bless those we come into contact with wherever they may be.

We are a work in progress...and I think that is what Christ would want.