Ok moms..I am in need of your assistance. I address this to moms, cause really, I can't imagine that there are any men out there that read my blog...let alone admit to it and leave a comment...No wait..Cass, your sweet hubby was kind enough to leave some advice with a situation with Skipper...so I stand corrected!! If you dad's got any thing here...I'd love to hear it too!!
Here is my dilemma and I really would like you r opinion on the situation. And I gotta get this done pretty quick, cause after my 2nd day of 'root canal fun'...I am on hydrocodone and my time is limited until this stuff kicks in and then I am a big pile of mushy goo!! So please overlook and misspellings or the like!
Tonight at bedtime, Scrappy starts crying saying that the little boy next door called him a name. He tells me what it is and I can not understand him. I ask him to repeat it and he 'says' a$$hole.
Even with a speech problem...he got pretty close(reminder to tell therapists to watch for this new word!!)
Since all the boys share a room, we took a minute to talk about how that is not appropriate for people to use and that it is not a word that we will use in our house. I did not go on or make a big deal about it just that we wouldn't talk like that here.
Here is the kicker...I have heard their mom talk to her kids and she talks like that to them all the time. So I mean, they only use what they hear being said to them. The little boy is I'd guess 4 and sister is about 6. She is a single mom and I am sure has a ton on her plate.
I hate to slam the door and say no more playing together...but there are many things that are not quite right over there. Yes, Christie...this is the level 2 sex offenders house. Which is a whole other can of worms. And just for the record...we did not know there was a sex offender living next door when we bought the house, I found out from the police one day when they showed up to check in on him.
The kids just walk into our house with out knocking. We have asked them to knock many times, but it seems to go in one ear and out the other! The little boys is very rough. Which is saying something coming from a mom of 4 boys. I know that everyone has to do what is right for their family, but how do I handle this with out shutting these people out completely??
What would you do? I am open here. I really want to know what you think.
4 comments:
Dallas, I really hate to even put single mothers into the category of living with sex offenders or raising children who have issues with cussing. I am a single mom who has kids who are very respectful and are taught better than that. I think people sometimes think that because a father is not in the home that no parenting goes on. With that said, I would not allow my children to ever be knowingly in the presence of a sex offender and I would show compassion to this mother while setting firm limits with these children. If the kids continue to walk in unannounced, then I would speak to the mother and tell her that they are not allowed at the house and will be sent home if they come over. Your children have limits and I think you are setting a good example to this mother by showing her that you expect her to set limits with her children as well. You are probably one of the best moms out there, this woman could benefit from the good example you set with your own children.
Kathy,
I hope that it did not come across like I think this is because she is a single mom...I do not. I do know that she is a busy hard working mom who works 2 jobs to try to take care of her kids.
As far as the offender thing..all I know is that it does not involve children...not sure if that makes me feel any better!! Level 2s are not listed on the online sites here in Arkansas.
I do not think that it is an excuse or a cause for the behavior. It is just part of their situation. Thank you for your help!!
Boundaries really are not my strength!! :O)
I wish that I knew some good advise to pass on, but really I don't:( There is a family locally that I really limit the amount of time my kids spend with them, because of the same reasons...with alot more thrown in. They really don't have a lot of supervision, but I hate to punish the child for their lack of example. I do let these kids come over, and expect the same of them as I do my own. I am not known for my subtle ways, so they know what is expected of them here, or they can go home. I would love to have the right words and actions when I come across these situations.
Dallas, I had to share this with you. Right after I left the comment last night about how respectful my children are, my middle son got benched at his first basketball game for punching a teammate in the face!! Oh girl, God does have a sense of humour!! Note to self, never brag on my kids!!
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