2 Years

She has been gone 2 years.

Sometimes I forget and think I'll just get the boys gathered up and run by for a bit. Then I remember, she isn't here anymore.

I hope she'd be proud of me. I hope she'd be proud of my boys. I wish she was here to see how the house turned out and that in fact, we took her advice and raised the kitchen cabinets about 4 inches. I wish she was here to tell my boys the My Big Toe story. Cause I can tell it...but not like her.

I wish she could make me a big batch of creamed potatoes. I can't recreate those either. I wish she could have waited one more day and not gone home on my brother's birthday.
I wish she knew what a blessing she was to our boys. They still struggle with her being gone. Really, there are a million silly, goofy, annoying, wonderful things that I miss about her.

I wish she could tell me one more time, "You just don't know, Sis."

She was taken too soon. That's my selfishness shining thru. I confess it.
However, in the midst of her cancer diagnosis and the very short 6 weeks we had left with her, she taught me more that she will ever know. Granny never felt sorry for herself. She was ready. She knew that her eternity would be spend walking the streets of Heaven. She knew what was ahead of her. She was confident. She was full of grace and dignity. She never cried. She was strong to the finish. That's exactly what any of us would have expected of her.

We stopped by her gravesite on Easter and someone had scattered Texas Bluebonnets on her grave. It was the most beautiful thing.

Her last words to me were..."Sis, I pray for you everyday."

That is a blessing I will carry forever.