Please, Don't Help Me....

Wanna know a little secret?

I don't accept blessings well, and it causes me problems.

I'm sure it is a pride issue. I don't like to ask for or accept help. I feel like I chose to homeschool the boys. I chose to be a stay at home mom. I chose this path, so I should just put on my big girl panties and get on with it. Oh, I'm more than happy to help you and do whatever I can to help you out...but please, please, please don't turn the tables on me.

If I ask for help...I am in serious need. 

I saw a brief interaction between my boys this weekend that hit me in the gut and took my breath away. One child was sitting at the table. The other one brought him something and the receiving child freaked out, jumped all over him about how he can do it and didn't need or want his help. The child trying to help was crushed. It was apparent by the look on his little 8 year old face.

Immediately,  I recognized myself in that interaction.
That was me crushing the spirit of another who was trying to bless me.
That was me taking away the joy of another  in serving.
That was me whose pride was all ugly and obvious.

Skipper and I had a brief conversation about letting the 8 year old bless him. Let him serve you. Let him model after Christ. Let him love you. Accept his blessing and his joy.


So, there it is. I am teaching my boys to hinder those who want to bless us. I am teaching my boys to do it all on their own. I am teaching my boys that their pride is more important than the blessing of others.

Ugly, huh? Not at all the message I want my boys to be left with. So as a family, we are working on that. We are working on purposefully finding ways to bless those that live in our house. We are working on a list of random acts of kindness that we can do to bless those we come into contact with wherever they may be.

We are a work in progress...and I think that is what Christ would want.